Quote to live by

"Live everyday as if it was your last, because you never know if there will ever be a tomorrow."

Success

Nothing in life comes easy. As I got ready to jump in and start my day today, I only wondered how much further I could walk without falling over. I was overwhelmed by the struggle to finish the summer semester, to finish work, and just to have a day where I could relax without having a million thoughts running through my head. I survived the day full of rainy and cold Boston weather and did everything that I needed to. Got home and jumped into my Pj's and the softest socks I owned just to sit on the couch and watch repeating episodes of "Jersey Shore." I grabbed the mail to rip through the bills and junk that I usually get when I came across a letter from UMass. Automatically I thought, "fall tuition bill." I ripped through the envelope to find a letter and invitation cordially inviting me to join the international honor society for UMass based on the fact that I had placed in the top 15% of my graduating class. I laughed and thought to myself, "what an accomplishment." I called my family to tell them the good news and managed to have a smiling face for the rest of the night. It made me realize that although I have constantly been on the run and trying to figure things out and make them better, I finally reached the point where I have wanted to reach. I am getting to the success level I feel was made for me and although nothing came easy, hard work and dedication is paying off. I am just ready to graduate and take over the world.

Life

I came across a horrible slideshow in the New York Times Magazine today. Things like this very topic get me emotional because of the I feel like its unfair that there are so many less fortunate in this world. Everyday, thousands of Americans waste food, throw away good clothes, and complain about not having enough. But do we ever stop and think about getting only as much as we can eat? Donating those hundreds of dollars worth of clothing we drooled over the first time we saw them? It's really crazy how self-consumed the world is becoming and moreso how much poverty is growing. As I looked over the pictures that surrounded this article, I saw young boys and girls, some my age, some even younger, digging through the ruins in Africa and rummaging through dumps of computers and keyboards from foreign countries. They dug so deep to find any wiring, metals, or anything that they could use from technology that meant nothing more to us and was ready for disposal. I can't help but imagine what it must be like for so many of them not to have a home, to live in the dirt and dust and not be able to shower when they get home? How is this possible in a world where I selfishly am living lavishly? It only makes me think how self-absorbed some of us have become. Only now and then when I see pictures and read articles, my heart melts and I want to do something but then the next day I'm back to normal and worrying about the next best thing I could do with my life. I worry about my dreams, my reality, and what I'm going to wear to the next weekend's festivities. Not that those aren't things that I shouldn't be doing, but seeing there are hundreds of slums out there with people not having a chance at survival makes me wonder when the world will be able to be equal. Equal in the sense that we may all live without worrying when or where our lives may end because we are malnourished. And as I imagine this perfect world, I remember the words that I once read as I strolled in a museum in India, "without pain and suffering, there is no life."

Check out this page to see what inspired my little piece above: http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2010/08/04/magazine/20100815-dump.html

Young Love

Writing usually helps me with anything that I'm feeling. Although I feel this may be a personal piece, I think the best way to help myself heal a bit is to post it and relieve myself of the burden of carrying it solely. So here it is.

"Time to Let Go"

When you love someone, it’s hard to let them go.
And although I made that decision and set you free what feels like years ago,
I never realized how much of myself I was letting go too.
You were what made a big part of who I am and when I said that we could just be friends,
I took away a love that I know I will never find again.
It’s not because there aren’t million of guys out there and many that may be better for me than you,
But you were who made me smile and who lit up my heart every time I heard your voice.
Maybe that’s why knowing that you have someone else to hold at night, or someone else to kiss you back and heal your pain,
Makes me feel like I’m going insane.
Let me be straight, I lost my sanity a while ago because being with you meant that I could be anyone else and someone that I had never been before.
I did that because of you.
I became the girl that you loved, that you wanted to be with and then you became my everything.
The fighting, the arguments, its all part of being in love and knowing that those few mean words will only make you stronger.
You have made me a better person than who I was.
And although I know I have to move on because clearly you have, the love I have in my heart has blended with the blood that flows through my body, my soul.
It is no longer something that I can just take out and throw away because I don’t want you anymore, trust me I tried, but it has become the kind that has become part of who I am.
Now I know that who I am was meant to love you.
This does not go to say that love for me will never exist again, but I don’t want it to.
Loving you was one of the best parts of my life because when I had no one you were there.
You listened to my stories, took me into your heart, and heard me when no one else would.
The truth is that I don’t think I ever did let you go.
That is why I tell you everyday that even though you may have someone else to miss now and someone else to love and comfort you, I can never stop loving you and I can never stop wanting you.
You are part of me, my soul mate, my best friend, my love.
And when the time comes that you don’t need me anymore, I’ll still be there wishing and praying that for you, the world prepares itself because you deserve nothing but the best.
I love you.

# 1 Baby

Im a diehard Derrick fan love him! He doesn't know it but Im going to marry him one day. <3

Reppin the Virgin Islands Always and Forever

Missing Home and everything about it.

The Private War of Women Soldiers

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The Road to Lost Innocence

Sex trafficking is a huge deal and not everyone is able to understand how serious this problem is getting. Somaly Mam was sold in Cambodia by her family to brothels and considers herself dead but she has decided to help other girls that have been rescued. Check this video out posted by the New York Times online. It's difficult but important for people to know.


http://video.nytimes.com/video/2008/09/24/opinion/1194818192946/fighting-sex-trafficking-in-cambodia.html

Obama takes the View

I thought it was very entertaining and "different" that the President was on "The View." I have always admired that show because I love to hear their thoughts but also like the debates. I never thought Id see the president on it though. Im a huge Obama fan and despite the views of others on his term so far and what he is doing for the country, I have been his fan since before the election process. Anyway, I think the fact that they had him on and he agreed to being on such a public show was a great way to publicly involve himself. Although Im pretty sure many people thought it was inappropriate, I just think he's real. I don't ever seeing George Bush in the public eye, taking responsibility for things. If anyone does watch the View then you'll know that Elisabeth Hasselback was a diehard republican in the pre-election days. She hated Obama and everything about him. But did anyone happen to catch the fact that she is taking her kids to the White House and may very well be turning into a democrat? For someone who fought with her co-hosts every show and held up the republican way of doing things, she isn't such a committed follower after all. haha

Jersey Shore

So last night was the 2nd season premier of Jersey Shore. Personally, I never got the sudden fame of the cast of Jersey Shore. I didn't understand why Snooki and the Situation ran the show. But I watched it last night and it was pretty damn funny. It got me in the mood to hear Enrique Iglesias' song "I like it." Why? Because it features the cast in it and its a good song to fist pump too. Lol. Check it out.


"I like It" ft. Pitbull

Wanna hear it? Go to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9_n8jakvWU


Girl please excuse me
If I'm coming too strong
But tonight is the night
We can really let go
My girlfriend is out of town
And I'm all alone
Your boyfriend is on vacation
And he doesn't have to know

No one can do the things
I'm gonna wanna to do to you

Shout it out, scream it loud
Let me hear you go

[Chorus]

Baby I like it
The way you move on the floor
Baby I like it
Come on and give me some more
Oh yes I like it
Screaming like never before
Baby I like it
I, I, I like it.
Party, Karamu, Fiesta, Forever

Girl please excuse me
If I'm misbehaving, oh
I'm trying keep my hands off
Enrique Iglesias I Like It lyrics found on http://www.directlyrics.com.com/enrique-iglesias-i-like-it-lyrics.html
But you're begging me for more
Round round round
Give a low low low
Let the time time pass
'Cause we're never getting old

No one can do it better
Turn around I'll give you more

Shout it out, scream it loud
Let me hear you go

[Chorus]

Baby I like it
The way you move on the floor
Baby I like it
Come on and give me some more
Oh yes I like it
Screaming like never before
Baby I like it
I, I, I like it.

Don't stop baby, don't stop baby
Just keep on shaking along
I won't stop baby, won't stop baby
Until you get enough

Party, Karamu, Fiesta, Forever

Chorus (x2)

It sucks

Love is a crazy feeling. I don't think I can ever let myself fall in love again just because I think its a feeling I don't want to have. Previous experiences have told me that it is such a gut wrenching and difficult thing to go through. I've pretty much experienced it all; long distance, cheating, the heartbreak, the recovery. It pretty much all sucks to me. You fall in love, you love it and then when its over, you feel like it will never get better. Before I used to watch others and want to find my special someone and now Im pretty much over it. The tears Ive shed, and the level of hate I have toward love is pretty much why I think that for me the search is over and Im kind of done wanting anything more.

"Double Life"

I saw "Inception" with Leo Dicaprio this past weekend and let me tell you, if you haven't seen it, you absolutely have to! It was such a good movie and Leo was great as always. It made me wonder though about life in general. I used to always think about this but after seeing the movie, how many of yall think that the life we are living is in fact a dream and our dreams are our reality? I don't know about all of you, but I have some really vivid dreams and I feel like I am really living that life when I'm dreaming. Kind of intense sometimes because I feel like the same people exist in both and then you lose sense of what is real and what is fake? Dreams are supposed to be our subconscious, what we think about and how our minds work and that portrayal is seen as dreams are intensified during our sleep. Kinda scary that dreams can be so intensive.

Ipod Shuffle "You" by Lloyd

Since my ipod is filled with some many of my favorite songs, I try not to play the same ones over and over even though I am a "repeater" and that's pretty hard. It was on shuffle and "you" by Lloyd and Lil Wayne came on. Lovvvvvvvvvvved this song when it first came out and is still pretty much one of my fab favs.

Link to listen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpD-56UqT14


"You"
(feat. Lil Wayne)

[Lil Wayne]
Its major move right here baby
You gotta get wit it or get lost
(Ya understand?)

[Lloyd]
(Yea)
Its Young Lloyd
Reporting live from Atlanta, Georgia (Weezy F Baby)
Decatur where its greater
And uh I want all my sexy ladies to report to the dance floor immediately
We gon' Golden Glide dis one ya'll
Speak Weezy

[Lil Wayne]
(Yea)
Right off the back ma the boy got dollars
So women come frequent like flight mileage
It ain't no secret (I) I might holla
But I ain't gon' sweat ya baby
Imma let ya
Catch up wit ya game
Run faster
Don't let em lose ya cause I ain't gon' bless ya
Unless ya
Feel a lil desperate
Send a nigga a text message girl

[Lloyd]
Stop!...wait a minute
The way you move that girl you done got my heart all in it
And I just wanna be with you tonight (girl please)
Imma playa yeah, it's true
But I change the game for you
I wanna see what it do

[Hook - Lloyd]
can I be for real?
Dis is how I feel
I'm in need of love
So let's dip up out of here
Ooohh ya just my type
Everything's so right
I just wanna chill
Lets dip up out of here
(Lets dip up out of here)

[Chorus - Lloyd]
I ha ha haaaa haaaaa
(She's fine too but I want you)
I ha ha ha haaaa haaaaa
(She's fine too but I want you)

[Lloyd]
((I) I admit it)
Dis just ain't no game these just ain't words
(That I'm spitting)
If you could see the thoughts that's in my head (That's in my head)
(I'm tripping)
Imma playa yeah, it's true
But I change the game for you
I wanna see what it do (Oooooh)

[Hook - Lloyd]
Can I be for real?
Dis is how I feel
I'm in need of love
So lets dip up out of here
Ooohh ya just my type
Everything's so right (so right)
I just wanna chill
Lets dip up out of here
(Lets dip up out of here)

[Chorus - Lloyd]
I ha ha haaaa haaaaa
(She's fine too but I want you)
I ha ha ha haaaa haaaaa
(She's fine too but I want you)

[Lil Wayne]
(Yeah)
Weezy F baby the key to the ladies
Keys to the 'cedes but please say the baby
Weed and patron even in the a.m.
We should be alone we can get a day in
Ya like what I'm saying?
Den come around the way and
We can go inside and stay in
Tell the homeboy ya staying
You've been taken
Gone
Turn me on and Imma turn him out
You know I love you like cooked food
You know you fucking wit a good dude
You know you give good brain like you graduated from a good school
You know Imma good move
You should do (me)
See...shawty what it is?
The Carter who it is
Now shawty do it big
A party at my crib
That's a party in the hills
You call it what you want
But she can call it what she feel
(Ooowwww!!!)

[Hook - Lloyd]
Can I be for real?
Dis is how I feel
I'm in need of love
So lets dip up out of here
Ooohh ya just my type
Everything's so right (so right)
I just wanna chill
Lets dip up out of here
(Lets dip up out of here)

[Chorus - Lloyd]
I ha ha haaaa haaaaa
(She's fine too but I want you)
I ha ha ha haaaa haaaaa
(She's fine too but I want you)

[Lil Wayne]
I ain't nothing but a nonviolent nigga (yaknowatimean?)
Me & lil' Lloyd long hair don't care
Yo wattup Ryan I see you baby
(Yea)
Its major move right here baby
I ain't talking fast its just you listenin' slow (yaknowatimean?)
You ain't tryna hear me den don't heard me
I'm up outta hear
I ain't being mean but you so mean in them jeans (yaknowatimean?)
So what you want me to do?